Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Can you explain the concept of an annulment of marriage in the Roman Catholic Church and its effects on a previous marriage?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t buy bullshit

Why do foolish atheists think their strange delusional theories are facts?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Why did Kakashi use Chidori against Rin, despite knowing about her feelings for Obito?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Why cant I motivate myself to go to school (grade 10)?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

How do Flat Earthers explain time zones?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

If women aren't shallow, why do most tall, good-looking men have girlfriends?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

What is a good habit and what is bad one?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I can count

How do you deal with neighbors who are always telling you what to do?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Has anyone shared his wife with a friend? How was it?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I see through liars

What is the most interesting question you can ask to get to know someone?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Why do women need to wear bras, in spite of the fact that the breasts are an integral part of the body?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I can read

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for fakery

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I actually pay taxes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones